Surviving October

Normally, October is the month I dread. That's because it's the time when Stacey (as part of her duties as co-director of an honors program on campus) heads to Europe with her class. Sometimes, it's for two weeks, sometimes, it's for the full month.

This year, it was the latter. So, I was on my own, with Brady, for a whole month. Without help from family.

But you know what? Surprisingly, it went really smooth for me this time.

I'm sure a lot of it was the fact that Brady is now seven, and therefore a lot easier to handle. But I also think that it just boiled down to self confidence. I just felt more able to handle things on my own. I even took having no help from family or friends as a badge of honor. I could do this, and not worry that I was going to somehow burn the house down, or cause economic calamity.

That's not to say I didn't hit my wall now and then. Truth be told, it can be really lonely, and sometimes just communicating with friend through the Internet isn't quite enough. I missed Stacey; she has been possibly the only person I feel I can talk to. She's certainly the only sustained company I have in this state (we have a lot of friends that are students at Utah State. The problem is, they eventually decide to graduate, and move on).

So it's hard, from a social standpoint. It's tough when you have no one to sit down and bullshit about random things with, or watch MST3K/Rifftrax with. I really had no one to hang out with. So in that regard, this period has tended to be really rough for me.

Having stuff to do helped keep me from going too stir crazy. In previous years, I would have my comics to work on, but I was between scripts this time. So, I had no work to occupy my mind. So, I put my focus on other things, like cleaning the house, or continuing on my weight loss journey (30 pounds as of today).

I also tried to spend a lot more quality time with Brady, which I found was a bit more difficult when she was younger. Now that she's seven, it felt a lot easier to go do things, work on homework together, or just hang out and watch episodes of Beakman's World ad nauseum.

So, despite the occasional mental/emotional roadblock, I survived the month. More importantly, I think I felt like for the first time, I really had a grasp at this whole "dad" thing. That probably sounds crazy considering that I've been one for over seven years now, but I don't know if I ever felt 100% comfortable. Like I wasn't sure if I really knew what I was doing. Like I needed to defer more to Stacey and others regarding what was the right thing to do.

This year? I knew what I was doing.

One last thing: I need to give a lot of props and admiration to all the single parents out there, or the families that have one parent away from home for a long stretch of time. While it's been doable, it was difficult to do this for a month. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like when you're truly on your own, raising a child. Whether it's for a month, a year, or an indefinite period of time, my hat goes off to you all.