How did I go from the kitchen to... oh well.

by Carlos

I'm in the kitchen a lot. But before I continue, I want to say that my wife is certainly the best cook. Often, I'm finishing dinner as she comes home and she does something magical to my dish that saves the family from eating something drab and tasteless. I'm always amazed at her skill. And on the weekends, and even on some weekdays, she cooks the dinner. And that's always a GOOD meal!

But, having said that, I am always in the kitchen. My sister once told me that she went to bed after having spent the day with my aunts while we were all on vacation in my parent's home town. We have a big family and she said that she went to bed exhausted, but couldn't remember what she had done all day. Then, she recalled that they took an hour or more to make breakfast for everyone. After breakfast, they cleaned up and it was time to make lunch. After lunch, they cleaned up and it was time to make dinner. After dinner, it was time to clean up and there she found herself quite ready to sleep. I can't say that those are my days.

But it does feel like I am always in the kitchen. I don't know if I'm there to 'hide' from the kids. I don't know if I just like the kitchen (I did just get a new radio for it). Maybe I'm just plain slow. Maybe, I'm too prideful of my meals and I have to have them just perfect.

The only reason it bothers me is that I don't spend a lot of time with the kids. Maybe I do spend enough time with them, but I'm just feeling guilty for not spending more time with them. Honestly, they can get pretty sick of me.

You know there's no real grading system for this thing! I really have NO idea if I'm doing a good job or not. What's the balance between not eating too many TV dinners and spending quality time with the kids? How would I know? When I was a teacher, we had standards, assessments, and peer evaluations. Who's going to correct me? I have no idea, I could be creating a time bomb in one my kids and not even know it until they're a freshman and bringing a flare gun to school (ever watch the Breakfast Club?).

I once asked my uncle for advice in raising kids. He told me that I have to be prepared to forgive myself for all the mistakes I'm going to make in my kids and that I have to trust that God is bigger than all the mistakes I will make in them.

I hope I can do that.