The Power of Touch

by Carlos

I find myself drifting off from reality often. I think about movies, my past, or the way that I think other people should act; ALL the wrong things when I should be present with my children. But every once in a while, my children do something so noticeable that I can't help but snap back to reality.

When my first born, Damai, was just learning to walk, she kind of fell on me during one of her attempts. Her arm fell around my neck and there was this jolt through my body. I thought she hugged me for the first time. I know that she hadn't meant to, but the mere fact that she had her arm around me made me feel so loved.

During this summer, the girls absolutely love it when I tell them a story at breakfast. I usually finish my meal first and then begin. When my youngest daughter, Anna, finishes her breakfast, she climbs into my lap. Sometimes she sits and looks up at me and sometimes she lays in my arms. She pays SO much attention when I tell stories. And the moment is gorgeous! I think I tell stories at breakfast just for that moment with Anna.

The other day, Lani, asked me for some paper so she could draw on it. So I reached out for her hand and she held mine. I decided to hold her little hand firmly just to make the point that I loved her. We walked to the other room and when I went to get the paper she held my hand tightly so that I couldn't use it to grab the paper. I needed my hand but she wouldn't let it go. That was quite a moment that I hope never to forget. It was wonderful.

I don't know if they'll ever remember moments like that. I wonder if touch means as much to them as it does to me. But it really helps me to see that they love me and to bring me into my present moment, instead of daydreaming off like I do. I hope when they get to that "my dad is so UNcool" stage of their growth that they'll still take the time to give me a hug every now and again. Their hugs are precious.