After Bedtime the Parents Will Party

by Phil

Steve wrote a simple and profound post a few weeks ago. He said, "It's so much better when they're asleep."

His declaration that things are better when his children are sleeping brought memories of my own childhood rushing back. I remember very distinctly lying in bed at night believing that my parents did all of the fun stuff after they sent me off to sleep. I pictured them out there in the living room throwing massive parties for all of their friends, living the full life and purposefully doing it at a time when I couldn't participate. Whenever I would hear laughter seep through my door I knew it there were only two possible explanations: 1) They were out there having more fun than anyone in the history of the world has ever had or 2) They were laughing at me for missing out on the most fun that anyone in the history of the world has ever had. I was really missing out.

I know now that such thoughts weren't rational. But how often have you ever heard someone comment, "Well, yes, tiny toddler, that is a very rational statement that you just made." And if I would have thought about it rationally for even a moment, I would have realized that my parents weren't the type of people to throw crazy parties. I vaguely remember a conversation with my sister where she confessed the same fear. I'm not sure what kind of vibe we were getting from our parents that would make us think such things. If you know my parents, you're probably laughing your tookus off right now.

Being a parent now, though, I know the truth. After my son goes to bed isn't some sort of party time when everyone goes nuts. It's the part of day when we get the most cleaning done, the laundry folded, and so on. The responsibilities continue.

At the same time, though, while the responsibilities don't end when the kid is sleeping, there is a certain peace that falls upon the household. It's a period when there won't be anything being eaten off the floor* or any licking of stroller wheels#. It's also a time when my wife and I can just be my wife and I. There is a noticeable lack of parenting happening. We can sit quietly and just sit together or have real, adult conversations about things other than diapers. And, yes, once a week we have a people over for dinner and watch Top Chefs. Watch out!

I love spending the day and playing with my son. I also enjoy when my son goes to sleep for the night. There may not be any ruckus parties but it is really nice. And I'm sure that in a few years, he will be the one lying there, wondering what kind of crazy hijinx we parents get ourselves into after dark. What he won't realize, though, is that even after he is in slumberland, most likely dreaming of amazing baby adventures, I'd love to be the one in bed, sleeping and not doing much of anything.

*Why is it that no matter how well the floor is swept, he's able to find the one piece of garlic paper that I missed?

#Yes, he tries to lick the wheels on his stroller. Weirdo.