Boys Will Be...Boys?

by Matt

Originally, I was going to write about something that happened to us last week. The subject was also going to explain my missing post last week. (It was not, as I recall reading in the papers, a secret mission hunting Nazis in the Amazon. That's next week.) Ever since I read Steve's post, and then Phil's post, I've just been consumed with the topic of gender roles, both actual and perceived. To be more specific, how these roles affect our children. Considering the blog, I bet most of the writers here spend a good time thinking about it.

I am the dad of two (soon to be three) beautiful girls. The idea that they will grow up thinking they need to fit some kind of outside-influenced template of womanhood makes me nuts. I've said this before, but I'd like to think that having a stay at home dad and a professional working mother helps.

It did for me. Both my parents made dinner; did the laundry; went grocery shopping; worked full-time; took us to school; showed affection for us. The last may seem odd to you, but I know plenty of people that had dads that were distant and unaffectionate. And to be honest, a few moms thrown in there too.

The scenarios I saw on TV didn't fit my reality. My dad knew how to make a really good dinner. My mom brought home a paycheck. My dad knew how to use a dryer, and how to fix it. My mom was really good at helping me with homework. All the stuff that you saw on TV? My house was the opposite.

It's a disturbing trend to see the some of the apparel in Phil's post. One of the things I studied in school (BS in Marketing) was that a company is not trying to sell an idea. They're trying to tap into your ideas and sell using those, which means that there are people out there buying into this. "Hah! My kid is so lazy. He'll love this shirt!"

This is an upsetting trend for every parent, boy or girl. Boys for obvious reasons. Girls: these kids are going to be going to school with your kids. They might try to date your kids. They might try to marry your kids! AGGHHHGHGHGHG!!!

I also teach trombone, and almost all of my students are boys. I can see a few of them giving things less effort every week. It's maddening! Something in these boys is turning off. Or maybe being shut off? I don't know. Sometimes I think it's the budding hormones. Other times I think it's because the kid could be socially inept.

If you haven't read the other two posts I'm referring to, please give them a read and consider some of the info there. Spread the links around to other parents. Like Phil said, let's keep the conversation moving forward. Nothing like a changed reality to mess up an old perception.