Hermitry

by Phil

It's easy to not leave the house for long stretches of time as a stay-at-home parent. There are times that maybe we at-home parents don't shave as often as we should, don't take a shower until very late into the day (or not all), or even stay in our pajamas for a majority of the day. After awhile, if done too often, this becomes the norm. You may even see the at-home parent or two going into public in such disarray. That way lies madness.

I'll admit that until recently, my son and I didn't really leave the house all that often. He still naps and eats quite a bit throughout the day. So coordinating trips out was a challenge. Since, however, I want him to be properly socialized and comfortable in the world, I was doing him a disservice. I don't want him growing up to live in the caves outside of town, wearing rags, yelling at clouds, the only real variation to his day being the torment from the townsfolk. Or worse yet, living in a shack in the woods. At least if he were living in the cave he have the social interaction when the townsfolk came to yell obscenities at him.

Additionally, I also need the mentally cleansing touch of the outside world. I even need some time away from my son. Having some time away to recharge, to do adult activities, makes me a better father. A reminder every now and again that I'm a human being with all of the interests/desires/dreams/etc that come along with being human is important. As stay-at-home parents, we can't lose ourselves as individuals to this all-consuming job or ours.

So I'm taking a two-progned approach-

Firstly, my son and I are doing an activity outside of our home every day. Some days it may be something as simple as a walk around the neighborhood. Based upon Matt's advice, we've started going to babytime at the library. It consists of music, a few stories and open free play so the kids can amuse themselves while the parents chat. My kid really like sitting in the kiddie pool filled with balls.

We also have a family membership to the zoo. So we're stopping by there once a week for a few minutes. It gives me just enough time to do a few quick drawings of an animal or two while giving my son some time out. He doesn't really care about the animals yet. He doesn't even look at them. He's more interested in the other people walking around. But he'll get there.

He loves the Military Macaws?

He hates the Military Macaws...

Secondly, I'm finding time for myself. Once a week, I drop our son off to my wife at her lab and they have lunch together while I meet a friend. We discuss heavy topics and world events and I feel like an adult again for an hour a week. I've also joined a Saturday afternoon open painting studio. I get three and a half hours to paint every week while surrounded by other people doing the same thing. It helps me get my work done so I can meet deadlines while also interacting with other adult interested in pursuing the creative arts.

Hopefully by following this plan, I'll avoid raising J.D. Salinger while also preventing myself from becoming one of those adults that speaks to everyone as if they were a baby. If it doesn't work, at least I tried. And I guess with parenting, the best try is all that can really be asked.