Mr. Rules- I wanted to be a farmer

by Steve

I'm not going to over sell the experience of being a stay at home dad. Trust me when I tell you, it's not the life I've been dreaming of ever since I was a little boy. Back then I wanted to get exceedingly rich by being a farmer and letting the animals live in my house. Even back then, I had no aptitude for creating wealth.

I don't want to knock what we do either. There is no better job for me, than one where I spend my days listening as my son tells me about why humans have disposable thumbs; or that his sister has re-di-gurgitated her breakfast.

I simply want to point out that as the years rolled by, I spent more time struggling with the things that I didn't expect, than those that I did. I expected everything that comes with transitioning from two incomes to one. I expected that at some point my cute little angel of a daughter would proclaim just how much she "really, really, really, really, really..., really hates me!" I'm paraphrasing.

I expected to receive at least a dozen copies of Mr. Mom as totally original gag gifts (don't do this, really) but actually only got two. And I expected to be terrified to tell my ruff, tuff, blue collar , union man father that I was taking a "a girl's job."

What I didn't expect was the guilt that comes along with being a man that produces no income. The feeling of stagnation as I watched my family and friends build careers and reputations, while for years, I wore a bathrobe for most of the day and tried to shave once a week.

I didn't consider how leaving her kids all day would affect my wife. Turns out, there's a maternal thing going on there that, as men, we can't even begin to fathom. And it never even occurred to me that I would never be able to button my jeans again. I mean... the kitchen is right there, and well... flavor blasted goldfish. You know what I'm talking about.

In short... I want it to be over. But there's no getting around it, this is the best decision I ever made.

Oh, and I completely agree with Carlos. When told well, good poop stories make the world go around.