On Flying Solo

by Doug

I'm currently at the airport, waiting for my flight back to New York (visiting the folks for a week). Instead if spending the time dreading the crap weather I'm about to experience once I land, I thought I'd write about the feelings this particular at-home dad has about flying without family.

I'm also dead tired, so if this entry starts to ramble, uhm...whoops?

My wife's job as college professor and researcher allows her the opportunity to travel a fair amount. The fact that the school pays for said trips is an added bonus.

Unfortunately, any trips that I would need to go on (comic conventions, etc) aren't covered by the school. So, my trips are understandably less frequent.

But when they do happen? It's like a mini vacation, even if its a work trip! For a few days, I get to be an adult again! I get to socialize with people at out around my age without my attention divided! I can go to a bar!

So, why do I feel guilty that I'm not home? Or that I could accidentally have some fun while I'm on my trip?

I think that I've become so used to running the ship, that any time away from it is a shirking of my responsibilities. And its not like my wife can't handle things at home (despite what she may say); it's just that I'm the one that agreed to take care of the house, so by not being home, I'm breaking the deal.

Of course, as I tend to be reminded, I'm a work-at-home dad. As such, I need to go on work trips, when possible. And, sometimes, it's even okay to have a little fun while I'm away.

Just a little. Can't get too carried away. ;)

It can definitely be good for the psyche once in a while to get that mental break. I know that after some stretches of watching our daughter while my wife focuses on work, or has to go on a trip, that I'm just done, mentally. I have found that having those few days off is just enough if a mental recharge, that by time I'm back, I'm ready to get back to work, both career-wise, and as dad and husband.

So yeah, I do like to go on the occasional solo trip, and get the mental break. And yeah, I also feel guilty about leaving, and not doing my job.

And somehow, having both of those feelings feels okay.

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