Laying Down the Law

by Matt

Discipline can be a tough thing to handle. You have to decide what-to, how-to, & when-to. And it's not a solo decision. It's something you need to talk over with your wife/husband/partner/alien overlord.

I have a hard time disciplining my kids. And not because of their cuteness. And not at home either. It's most difficult when I'm out in public.

Mainly, because I'm a man.

Now, I'm not yelling at my kids in the store. And they're not that much trouble. They're still too young to be causing the kind of mischief that would turn my face a different color. But you've got to raise the volume (while lowering the pitch) a little to make your point.

Now, as a parent, there are times that I'm self conscious about my parenting skills and methods. I feel like a lot of it comes from being a man doing a (what is perceived to be, by some) woman's job. I like being able to handle my kids, and the challenges they sometimes bring. I don't like the look or attitude of "Oh, there's Dad, having trouble with the kids again. Better call Mom! She handles it best!" I know that I shouldn't have that attitude, but I can't help it. I have a perpetual chip on my shoulder.

But the looks from I get from disciplining my kids are a little different. There's almost a...caution. Or maybe wariness is a better word? But people look. And they look concerned.

Is it because men seem to be more aggressive? Since I can't play you how it would sound, I can only say that I don't yell. But I have to make sure that my oldest knows she can't keep opening food in the store, or throwing things at her sister to make her cry, or screaming at the top of her lungs.

People actually stop, and kind of peak out of the corner of their eyes. Security is not grabbing me and wrestling me to the ground, but people in the general vicinity will take a look. And I sometimes do the same. When I see a parent disciplining their child, I can't help but take notice. And when it's a dad, I do pay extra attention. Am I afraid he's going to lose it? Is this an after school special, where I'm the one that has to make the call?

A man raising his voice sounds more authoritative. Is it because, while growing up, some of our dads were the disciplinarian? I remember my mom threatening me a few times with, "Wait until your dad gets home." Mom's had most of the authority, but Dad was the guy that laid down the law in my house.

With more dads at home, is this perception going to change? I'm not sure. But I feel very strongly that it's happening. Dad disciplining the kids, everyone's eyes are on him. Mom does, people look a little.

I could just be crazy paranoid. Any other dad's experience this? Especially with the older ones?