Allow Myself to introduce... er, Myself

by Carlos

Something Matt said a while back about putting his girls in the same bed got me to wander about in my memory: There was a time when I was able to say that I had 3 girls under the age of 3. And as soon as a younger child moved out of the parent's room, the girls slept together. For the past year, I've even had all three of them sleeping in the same bed (its actually 2 single beds smashed together with pillows in between). That single thought started a conversation;

"How did we ever get to that decision?" says Me to Myself. Then IMyself says, "Well, we hated their toys in the living room, so we put them in one bedroom and gave them a playroom. "Oh ya..." I answered. "Remember when we used to put them in their playroom and lock them in with the baby gate? That was great!... Why did we ever stop that??" Myself replied , "they started pushing each other over the gate, throwing things out of the room, and finally Damai started reaching over and unlocking it. We even had to rethink how to keep them out of the kitchen. THAT was scarry."

"Oh yeah," as I suddenly remembered, "they were playing with the trash can and littering the floor with their magnetic alphabet letters. I'd always trip on them. Then they all ended up under the fridge where I'd kick them out of frustration. Who ever thought of a toy that needed to be played with in the kitchen?" "Yeah, but we got through all that," Myself reassures Me. "The kids got old enough to teach and to discipline."

"Yeah," I remark back, "and you got frustrated enough to start teaching and disciplining them!" "Hahaha" We both chuckle.

And that conversation was good! I began to realize that things have really worked out. They're not perfect and Myself and I made a lot of mistakes, but the kids are doing well and no one had to die... yet.

This is reasuring because I have a lot of questions about this next phase of our lives; why are we sending the kids to private school? Why am I going to start working just to send the kids to private school? Anyway, what would I do if I stayed home with no kids? Could I home school? NO Could the kids be home schooled? And if they were, how would I engage the littlest one while the elders were being taught? How would I know if I were doing a good job? Anyway, if I go to work now as a substitute, will I make enough? What happens if I don't? What's our goal anyway??

And I see that our next phase is no more confusing than the last 10 years of my life. God, help me because I have no idea what I'm getting Myself into... again.