We Don't Need Another Hero!

There is a place where only the strong survive.

This place has no rules, but has one rule: WIN.

There are no alliances.

There are no teams.

You must fight to thrive here.

The hunted becomes the hunter.

And the hunter...becomes the hunted.

This place...?


Playland McDonalds.


Last week, after Carrie's baby doc visit, we went to the playland McDonald's. My girls have never been to it before. And since Carrie has been working from home this week, we thought it would be a good time for all of us.

We ordered our lunch, and set off to find a table. At this particular PM (playland McDonalds), the play area had a separate dining area, complete with separate door. Inside the door was a smaller dining area that had a few groups of parents sitting next to each other. Separating the dining area from the play area, was a 10 foot wall.


This should have been my first clue as to the nature of PM. The kids were required to take their shoes off before entering the play area. After all the McNuggets® were consumed, L & E were ready to play. They ran over to the small steps to enter into the Plastic Jungle.

L, being 4, had an easier time than E, 2, hopping in. They both were able to climb onto the first level and slide down the slide. After the first couple of times, E had the hang of it and was able to do it by herself.

But after the other kids finished their "Happy" Meals, Playland McDonald's soon became...Thunderdome.


Soon kids were running around. And SCREAMING. Now if you're in a giant box with glass ceilings and walls, you've entered into an echo chamber. And all of these kids have high pitched squeals. TORTURE.

So all the kids are screaming, and now they've started running. Lots of pushing, climbing past each other, madness! Some kids were on the higher levels of the Plastic Jungle, taunting all of those below them, challenging them to defy their power! Other kids were zooming past each other in the tiny tunnels, casting smaller kids to the wayside.


My kids were not immune to the power of PM. E became very anxious, and refused to enter the first level again, crying, "I need to wait my turn! I need to wait my turn!" Her cries became tears soon after.

L became upset that I was asking her to try to go up to the second level. There were too many kids running through! She yelled, "I can't! I can't!" At one point, I thought I was going to have to get in and get them both out of one of the tunnels.


As I looked around, the other parents were obviously used to what was going on. They were sitting around, kibitzing about their older kid's teachers, track meets, etc. Couldn't they see the mayhem that was ensuing? Couldn't they stop the havoc that their offsprings were wreaking?!

Yeah, they probably could. But it was just kids being kids. And I was overreacting.

My girls were ready to leave after about a half hour in the Thunderdome. They've already talked about going back. But this time, we'll be ready.

We've already been through the first two levels of Elmo's Hand to Hand Combat.