The Swamp of Sadness

By Doug

So, now that I have a clearer head than I had the other week, I'd like to talk a bit about the flat-out despair I was feeling, from a different (ie: more rational) perspective.

Sometimes, getting slammed with responsibilities can hit you without any warning. One day, you're on top of things. The next day it's, "oh, crap! I have 7,000 things due tomorrow!!"

It can really drag you down. I equate it with that scene in The Neverending Story, where the horse, Artax, was dragged into the Swamp of Sadness, never to be seen again. That's what I was feeling the other week, as all the stress and frustration came to a head, and I decided to let it out in word form. Yet, I still felt like I was sinking further into the Swamp of Sadness.

Surprisingly (for me), two things happened after I posted my little rant that ultimately pulled me out of the Swamp.

The first thing was the comments I got from the fellow at-home dads here, telling me that I wasn't alone in how I was feeling. The truth is, many parents can feel overwhelmed and overburdened. At one point or another, we all start to sink into the Swamp.

I think that something that we all as parents suffer from, is that feeling that we're on an island. The feeling that only my child acts crazy, or I'm the only one out there that can't handle the pressure of everyday life. I'm the bad parent, while everyone else in the whole world seems to have it together.

It's good to have that reminder that you are not on an island; most everyone else is (or has been) in the same predicament. Very few people are that mythical Superdad or Supermom that seem to do everything without breaking a sweat (and those that are like that, I'm convinced are cyborgs).

Hearing the other dads here tell me they go through the same problems I was going through, reminded me that despite the cynical and self-absorbed nature of today's society, it is okay to reach out, because there is a good chance that someone will give you some moral support to help you along.

The other thing to come out of my spleen-venting (though this materialized a few days later) was that it turned out to be just what I needed to do to get back on the horse. A kind of "storm before the calm," so to speak.

Like I mentioned in the other post, I don't normally like to complain. To me, it doesn't feel like it helps in any way. Besides, no one really cares about what I'm dealing with, right? But, I decided that day I really needed to get how I was feeling off of my chest. I said what I needed to say, and had my moment of "woe is me." Then, I finally picked myself up, dusted myself off, and trudged forward. Because really, what else could I do? It's not like the responsibilities were suddenly going to vanish.

I guess that more than anything is the sign I've become a grown-up.

So, while I'd rather not make a habit of it, I'm glad that I did have my moment of venting. While "cathartic" wouldn't be the word I'd use to describe the whole experience, it certainly helped me get back to what I needed to do, as a husband, father, artist, webmaster, and blogger.

Now, of you'll excuse me, I have 6,999 more projects to finish up.