Mommy Hook Syndrome

by Phil

Since becoming a father, I've been surprised by some of the generalizations and stereotypes that I've seen propagated in everything from the media to baby products. I'm not talking about the obvious ones, like all stay-at-home parents are women. I didn't get this particular memo, but apparently I'm not supposed to be spending any time with my kid, or rather, I shouldn't until he's old enough to play catch or work on the car with me. That's really sad for him because I'm terrible at sports and (despite having an extremely mechanically inclined father) don't know the first thing about fixing the car.

It's actually very subtle but by watching TV and reading magazines, you'd think that men don't spend time with their infant children. At all. Not even a second. And, boy, have I really screwed up since that's pretty much all I do. Hanging out with babies is woman's work. At least, that what we're being told.

I never noticed this until I became a father myself. But when I look for examples of fathers with babies in the media, they don't really exist.

Around our house, this societal stereotype is called "Mommy Hook Syndrome."

You see, a company ironically named "Mom, Dad and Baby" makes a product called "The Mommy Hook."

It's just a giant carabiner that hooks onto stroller handles to help carry bags and such. As a product, it's a great idea. But why is it branded as "The Mommy Hook"? Do only mothers push strollers? Do only mothers have extra items to carry? Do men not take their infants with them to the mall or store?

Now, I totally understand that the at-home market is still predominantly women. And I don't really have (much of) an issue with products that are to be used at home being directed at woman. Dads at home are a growing but still small segment of the population. I'm not asking for special treatment as a man. However, this product is made for being outside the home; it's supposed to be for anyone spending time with their kid while doing activities. But apparently being out with the kid is solely the job of the female in the house. They've even printed the name of it in bold letters along the side for every passerby to see.

It may seem like I am picking on this one product but my wife and I see this one product as emblematic of an entire issue. It's the reason we've named the problem as a whole after it. It's not called The Parent Hook or The Stroller Hook. You can't exclude men any more than that.

This is going to end up as an irregular series of posts addressing this issue in various aspects of life. There are plenty of examples out there and every now and again, I'm going to be asking "why".

For the record, yes. We bought one. It's amazing. I hate it every time I use it.