Parents say the darndest things!

We were in the bathroom and I was talking to Damai (4yrs old) when Lani (3 yrs old) began to call my name. She couldn't get my attention because when I'm speaking to one child, I make the other wait until our conversation is done. The kids need to learn patience. But Lani is not patient.
She called, "Papi.......Papi....Papi!..Papi! Papi!Papi!" and then she began to do this warrior yelp, "Whooo! Whooo!"jump up and down and wave her little arms. I really have no idea what Damai and I were talking about, Lani was yelling so much.
Finally, Damai and I were done. I turned calmly to Lani, "Yes, Lani?" She stampered, "Um. Um." She looked left and then back to me. "Umm. I forgot," then she smiled.
She's so cute!
But even though Bill Cosby had a show called Kids Say the Darndest Things, I really think a show about what parents say would do better.
"Anna! Slow down and hurry up over here!"
I guess you had to be there. I had been telling Anna to come to me. Not only was she NOT coming to me, but she was running in the house. Sooo, I HAD to say 'slow down' AND 'hurry up and get over here.' I had to.
"Lani, stop eating your carrots and eat your pizza." Sure you think I'm crazy, but you don't know Lani. She'll eat her weight in carrots if you let her. She'd have turned orange by the end of that dinner if I didn't get to eat some pizza. Pizza can be nutritious, you know.
"Anna, get up and sit down now!" My wife may have gave me a funny look afterward, but I KNOW she was about to say the same thing. Anna was out of her high chair and climbing down. Hence, the 'get up' part. 'Sit down' is just a go-to phrase for every parent. I can't do anything about that. It came with the Parent download.
Ok, this one is bad. Call it a brain fart. Maybe I was up all night changing diapers or something. I was trying to get Anna's attention. She's my stubborn 2 yr old. But of course, I couldn't think of her name. So, the litany began, "Lani! Damai!" But what came out of my mouth next was just the last straw. I probably need some kind of mental help. As I was looking straight at Anna, I called her,"Papi!"
Wait, that's me.
You know how when you're talking to kids in the third person, "Now, what did Papi tell you?" Come on! You know what I'm talking about!
Anyway, parents say the darndest things.