Boy Trouble

My son is in 4th grade and has begun the transition from:

[Me before] “He is the ONE. The future is saved.”

To

[Me now] “Please, God, just let him pass this spelling test.”

I thought it was a stereotype, but it’s not. There really is a big difference between boy students and girl students. It’s science. It’s biological. It’s out there. Books, studies, long term experiments.

Here’s what I learned: In a nutshell, boy = active. It’s not just too much sugar or a lack of discipline (not always). It’s how their brains are wired. Boys need to do. Boys need to engage. On the whole, that’s their learning style. Hands on.

They aren’t built for a passive, “sit quietly and pay attention” atmosphere (which girls seem to thrive in). Sitting quietly, while writing or during a lecture, for example, they’re still going to “do” something. They’re still going to “engage” somehow. And so begins the finger tapping and the daydreaming and the spitballs and the talking to his neighbors, etc… So, often, boys are labeled as disruptive, and as hyperactive. Which usually ends in more negative attention from teachers and sometimes a prescription.

My boy is absolutely not the same student that he used to be. His teachers used to bring me into the classroom to show off whatever amazing feats he accomplished that day. Now it’s more like, “here, take him.”

He’s still enjoys learning. I can see it. He still comes home excited about his writer’s workshop topics. And he loves showing off how well he understands math. It’s just that his motivation has gone into a coma. When it comes to actually sitting down and doing the math, or researching, or writing (especially writing), he’d rather stick his finger in a pencil sharpener.

So there is a problem. What do I do? He’s still got a lot of school years ahead of him, and even though school systems are mostly aware of this research, they don’t seem to want to use it. The only advice that I’m able to find so far in all of this research is an ambiguous “apply active learning strategies.” OK… fine… huh?

Last night we did spelling/ yoga. Didn’t work out like I’d hoped. Downloaded a book on the subject onto my I-Pod, we’ll see how that goes.

I’m hoping that this is where a stay at home dad comes in handy. I’m with him a lot and I’m a boy too. I need to do. I need to engage. I need to fix this. This is my new project. And I’ve got to move on it too. At this rate he’ll never solve the exponential population problem by middle school.