What I'm about to write is probably a no brainer, but it was certainly an 'aha' moment for me. What I discovered should lead me to less stressful days as the homemaker of my family.
Recently, we moved into a house that is across the street from the only other house with kids on my block. The husband is a fire fighter captain and I hold that in high regards. I see him cutting his grass and last summer, I saw him painting his roof white to deflect the suns heat. In my eyes; manly work. He accomplishes things, and it's visible.
When I work, I like to see accomplished things at the end of the day. When I was a teacher, I got to see a lesson plan at the end of the day. If I workout, I like to see that I'm dripping with sweat. When I designed, I got to see my piece all colorful and vibrant.
But as a homemaker, when I clean one room, the kids are in the other room making a mess. When I do laundry, the kids pee the bed that night so can do a few more loads in the morning.
My to-do list is HUGE and the check marks on it are few. I get frustrated, because my wife can work 13 days straight and I have to hold the fort. When I look at the fire fighter's yard and my own, they're two different worlds. He's got neat grass and I could hide my mini van in mine.
Case in point; we just paid $150 for someone to cut my back yard. For months, I've been looking for the time to cut that beast down. Now, I feel like I'm not man enough to cut my grass AND I cost the family $150!
But what is my mission? What is my goal as a homemaker. The truth is that my goal as a homemaker is the same as my goal as a husband; to see that my family thrives.
Before I got married, I went back to school to become a teacher because it would give my family mobility (teachers are needed everywhere), income, and health insurance. It worked beautifully (thank God)! I get jobs where we move, my kid's births were covered, and the money was enough to get us through. This was to make sure that my wife could follow through with her dream.
My job is still the same. I need to make sure my wife has a clean space to study, food to eat, and the emotional comfort that her family is safe when she is working.
I can actually see the result of my work in her ability to work. If paying for someone else to cut the grass lets me do my job, so that my wife can do her job, then that's money well spent.
For the first time I see my results because now I know where to look for them. I'm not saying that I'm good at what I do, but today, I feel quite successful.
Good points, Carlos! We recently got a gift for a house cleaning service and got two visits from them to clean the floors, kitchen and bathrooms. Before, I would have never have thought to pay someone for these services, but if it takes something off the list and allows you to focus on more important things, then it is money well spent (and gives you a much deserved break). And I think it's a great perspective that creating space for your wife to work her best is one of your MANY contributions! So true, and yet many people might not think of it that way!
ReplyDeleteJust think, soon your girls will be able to help check off some of your list and maybe you'll get a little time back! :)